Yesterday in a Pune t-shirt shop, I almost corrected my friend in front of a stranger.
And then I realised…the problem wasn’t his story.
It was my filter.
A friend and I walked into a busy store and he tried on a fitted t-shirt.
The shopkeeper smiled and said: “Bhaiya, kitna patla ho gaye… lucky!”
My friend laughed and replied: “Haan, pehle overweight tha.”
Inside my head, another sentence immediately appeared:
“Arre… diabetes ki wajah se weight kam hua hai… diet discipline ki wajah se nahi.”
For a moment, I almost said it aloud.
Then I paused. Why was I feeling the need to correct his moment?
The shopkeeper was appreciating him.
My friend was enjoying the compliment.
So whose discomfort was this? Mine.
Two powerful NLP reminders came to mind
1) The map is not the territory
A concept popularised by Alfred Korzybski.
Reality is the territory.
But what we experience is our map – our interpretation of that reality.
In that shop, the territory was simple:
A compliment.
But my mind was ready with a different map.
2) Our internal filters shape the map
Our beliefs.
Our past experiences.
Our insecurities.
All of them quietly sit inside our mind and influence what we think is the correct version of reality.
In that moment, my friend’s experience was simple.
But my internal filters were trying to rewrite the scene.
So yesterday I did something unusual.
I said nothing.
My friend smiled.
The shopkeeper folded the t-shirt and moved on to the next customer.
And I walked out with a reminder:
Before correcting someone else’s story, check whose map is speaking.
