Someone points out a flaw, and we agree instantly.
Someone gives us a compliment, and we start explaining why they are wrong.
Why?
The Kissa
A few days ago, a friend and I were having coffee in Pune.
“Dude, you look good. Weight loss kiya hai kya? Your trousers are hanging looser.”
“Haha, thanks. But still a long way to go.”
He stopped me.
“See? That’s exactly the problem. Someone appreciates you and you immediately dodge it. Hum appreciation ko accept kyun nahi kar paate?”
I laughed.
“Maybe because it feels awkward.”
“Interesting,” he said. “Last week I told my cousin his presentation was bad. He agreed immediately.
But when I praised my sister’s cooking, she said, ‘Arre, recipe online thi.’
Why is criticism easy and appreciation difficult?”
I thought for a moment.
“Maybe criticism feels familiar. It matches the voice already running inside our heads.”
“Exactly,” he said. “A compliment challenges that voice. Suddenly you wonder – Do I deserve this? Can I repeat it?”
Fair point.
“Next time someone compliments my YouTube thumbnails, I’ll just say ‘Thank you.'”
“There you go,” he smiled.
“The real workout isn’t improving. It’s accepting that you’ve already improved.”
We clinked our coffee glasses.
The Perspective
We accept criticism like a fact.
We treat compliments like a mistake.
Someone notices our effort and we immediately add a disclaimer.
“Still learning.”
“Could’ve been better.”
“Nothing special.”
In corporate life, I’ve seen this for years.
Teams spend twelve months chasing a target, celebrate for twelve minutes, and then start worrying about the next one.
Victories become checkboxes.
Mistakes become permanent memories.
Somewhere along the way, we learn to magnify what is missing and ignore what is working.
The funny part?
Accepting appreciation doesn’t make us arrogant.
It makes us honest.
It allows us to acknowledge effort, growth and progress.
The next time someone appreciates your work, your growth, or even your looser trousers, don’t explain it away.
Pause.
Smile.
Let it land.
And simply say: “Thank you.”
What do you find easier – accepting criticism or accepting appreciation?
